Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Gut Voch

So, I had a beautiful daughter married to a beautiful young man. Where's the tzuris in that? Of course "Life is Beautiful All the Time."

My daughter started dating a few years ago. Now, Shidduchim are in the Hands of Hashem, but it is sometimes difficult to remember when it seems that "I;" personally "me," is the problem in my daughter finding her basheirt.

I am what is called a ger tzaddik – a righteous convert to Judaism. And, in the eyes of some of my fellow, very Orthodox, Jews from birth (frum from birth), this is a disability. Why marry one's son to the daughter of a convert when there are so many other FFB girls available?

There was one time when I had made plane reservations for my daughter to meet a boy from another city and, the family cancelled it after discovering that I was a ger. That was a bit of a low point and, I talked to my Rabbi – HaRav Moishe Tuvia Lieff. He made an interesting point.


Rabbi Akiva is one of, if not THE, Greatest Jewish Sages that ever lived. He had humble beginnings – he knew no Torah until he was 40 years old and, his father was a convert.

Rabbi Lieff pointed out to me that why should I feel badly that someone who would have rejected Rabbi Akiva as a son-in-law because his lineage was flawed also rejected my daughter because of her lineage? The question he asked is why would I ever want my daughter to consider marrying such a person?

In addition, any other time that a person might deliberately take the question of my daughter's lineage into consideration and thereby reject her, and me – that person would have been violating a stringent commandment that is mentioned in the Torah over and over and over again - the Commandment to love the Righteous Convert.


After that, whereas I was still anxious over the tzuris that my daughter had to go through (just the whole dating process itself – which is almost like a serious job evaluation for each party, repeated over and over and over again until one or the another decides not to hire…), I no longer felt personally affronted.

And, G-d did indeed find a basheirt for both my daughter and my new son. He put in front of my face proof of the idea of Zivug and Basheirt.

And, it is Good.


Jewish Odysseus said...

Mazel tov to you and your wonderful family, chever mine!

Jewish Odysseus said...

Once upon a time, there was a net forum, "Middle East Information Center," where passionate debates on a given thread often extended for days, even weeks. I was an active participant there from 2004-2007. Since then, I've basically abandoned it for my blog, as the debates grew more uninformed, hysterical and sterile.

I recall you had a period where you provided a pithy comment or 2 there.