Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Gut Voch

So, I had a beautiful daughter married to a beautiful young man. Where's the tzuris in that? Of course "Life is Beautiful All the Time."

My daughter started dating a few years ago. Now, Shidduchim are in the Hands of Hashem, but it is sometimes difficult to remember when it seems that "I;" personally "me," is the problem in my daughter finding her basheirt.

I am what is called a ger tzaddik – a righteous convert to Judaism. And, in the eyes of some of my fellow, very Orthodox, Jews from birth (frum from birth), this is a disability. Why marry one's son to the daughter of a convert when there are so many other FFB girls available?

There was one time when I had made plane reservations for my daughter to meet a boy from another city and, the family cancelled it after discovering that I was a ger. That was a bit of a low point and, I talked to my Rabbi – HaRav Moishe Tuvia Lieff. He made an interesting point.


 

Rabbi Akiva is one of, if not THE, Greatest Jewish Sages that ever lived. He had humble beginnings – he knew no Torah until he was 40 years old and, his father was a convert.

Rabbi Lieff pointed out to me that why should I feel badly that someone who would have rejected Rabbi Akiva as a son-in-law because his lineage was flawed also rejected my daughter because of her lineage? The question he asked is why would I ever want my daughter to consider marrying such a person?

In addition, any other time that a person might deliberately take the question of my daughter's lineage into consideration and thereby reject her, and me – that person would have been violating a stringent commandment that is mentioned in the Torah over and over and over again - the Commandment to love the Righteous Convert.


 

After that, whereas I was still anxious over the tzuris that my daughter had to go through (just the whole dating process itself – which is almost like a serious job evaluation for each party, repeated over and over and over again until one or the another decides not to hire…), I no longer felt personally affronted.

And, G-d did indeed find a basheirt for both my daughter and my new son. He put in front of my face proof of the idea of Zivug and Basheirt.

And, it is Good.

2 comments:

Jewish Odysseus said...

Mazel tov to you and your wonderful family, chever mine!

Jewish Odysseus said...

Once upon a time, there was a net forum, "Middle East Information Center," where passionate debates on a given thread often extended for days, even weeks. I was an active participant there from 2004-2007. Since then, I've basically abandoned it for my blog, as the debates grew more uninformed, hysterical and sterile.

I recall you had a period where you provided a pithy comment or 2 there.